The Mid-Week Rant: Go Home Humanity, You’re Stupid

​Ok, hi everybody, I know it’s a bit unorthodox to post on a Wednesday, but, holy shit, this is really bothering me and I could think of no better way to vent than to share my anger on a platform that is followed by likeminded human beings. AKA: if you follow Nerd Cactus, I assume we have similar interests and beliefs and you like to know what kind of malarkey is going on in the world (you know, other than the big stuff… which we’re all uncomfortably aware of, at this point).

So, here it is: this article cropped up on my Facebook feed last night and it absolutely set me raging. Nordstrom is selling a piece of rock “designed” by a company called Made Solid. This is real.

First, I was baffled. Then, confounded. Now I’m just really super pissed at the blatant greed and bullshit that humanity is capable of… To think that there are actually some people whose lives are so decadent and carefree that they feel comfortable throwing down 85 dollars to purchase A ROCK. 

I’m pretty sure we all agreed that pet rocks were stupid, so how in God’s name is this a thing that exists?? Screw it, y’know even a pet rock was an affordable gag gift so let’s not compare the two. This is just some Uber hipster bullshit. Nope, I take it back. Hipsters are better than this. I like to think most human beings are, but there are a select few – namely those “bored and wealthy” individuals who feel no responsibility to help their fellow man – who are trying their darnedest to ruin it for everyone.

This product (if you can call it that) is a goddamn outrage. With all the shit going on in the world, with all the homeless and starving, and all the people pinching pennies just so their kids will have something under their Christmas tree, this company thinks it’s acceptable to sell a literal piece of rock for close to a hundred dollars – because, what – it’s got a piece of leather the size of your palm wrapped around it??? Fuck you and your fucking rock Made Solid. And fuck you too, Nordstrom, for aiding and abetting this consumerism idiocy. 

I mean, are these companies so out of touch? My god, at least donate some of those exorbitant sales to charity or something! Have some decency. If this were a scam to get selfish rich folks to part with their money in favor of a few good causes, maybe this could be forgiven, but there’s no evidence of good will or even irony. This is about making money and creating an elite brand that makes poor people sad they can’t afford a goddamn piece of rock!

Maybe it’s crazy how livid I am over this garbage… I mean, hell, I’ve bought one or two overpriced sunglasses when the “treat yo’self” spirit arises, but at least I buy items that are functional – and typically on sale. This is literally useless! $85 dollars for something you can very well go outside and pick up out of your own garden. Or from the park across the street. Or from the landscaping outside your local post office. I’m sure there are lots of pretty rocks where you live, they just need a little love and attention. And don’t for one second think of telling me that the price is reflective of the leather pouch, because there’s just no way in hell a teeny, leather pouch the size of a rock should cost $85. I mean, seriously, I bought a small designer leather wallet two days ago for less than $30 and it’s a whole lot more useful than the fucking rock pouch.

I’m so done with 2016.

-A