Hi, guys! You might have noticed I disappeared for three weeks this time. I was super serial about that thing where I’d only write when I had something to say. This time, though, it was more that I had too much to say, but I wasn’t the person to say it. If I had a platform at all, I would have used it, but I don’t, so it would have been a white woman shouting into the void about things that aren’t any of her business. Let’s just say Black Lives Matter, and if you don’t agree, you can fuck right off.
So, I just wanted to talk about how much summer sucks here in Florida. The temperatures might say the high 80s, but it’ll really be in the 90s or even the 100s because of the humidity and whatnot. (Which of course means that all those protesters really need to take care of themselves, and the cops should maybe stop making it worse by acting like they’re at fucking war with the people they’re meant to serve and protect.) It really gets to you. What is this pleasant summer people talk about, you know? For us, it’s hurricanes and sweat rashes and the oh-so-pleasant smell of mosquito repellent (or a gazillion bites). I’ve literally never understood the whole, “Florida has such great weather year-round” thing people talk about. Like, did you know part of the selling point for Disney World’s Orlando location was the weather?!
Some people are insane. Truly.
I’ll bring this around to writing now. Since that’s sort of meant to be my thing. And, honestly, I’m pretty damn good at making things link up. That’s part of the history degree. Or maybe it’s just a natural gift of mine. I did kiss the Blarney Stone when I was fifteen, so that might be a factor. Anyway…
PLEASE STOP WRITING THINGS SET IN FLORIDA WHERE EVERYONE IS EITHER SOME GLAMOROUS BEACH PERSON WITH TANNED SKIN AND A BOAT OR A GODDAMN METH ADDICT ‘FLORIDA MAN’ SITUATION. And I’m looking at you, especially, TV. Seriously. Check it out. Florida is either South Beach or still living in the Confederacy. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are parts of Florida that are exactly like that (drive up 75 through Tampa and there is literally a giant fucking “Confederate” flag ((it was never actually the flag of the Confederacy, but you know what I mean)) flying on the side of the road), but it’s… more than that.
Places aren’t stereotypes more than anything else. We’re always warned away from creating characters that are stereotypes, but we’re willing to do the same thing for places? Stop that. STOP IT. I hate Florida with every fiber of my being, but I hate having it whittled down to idiot tourists, old people, beach bunnies, and rednecks. I hate it because that’s not actually what Florida is. Jokes are fine, but I’m afraid people have really taken it to heart and decided that’s Florida. And it isn’t.
Stop dealing with stereotypes. In characters. In places. In everything. It’s fucking annoying.
Oh, and, just in case you forgot from the beginning, Black Lives Matter. If you don’t agree, fuck off.