Hey, Nerd Cactus readers! We’re back for another fun-filled weekend of Nerd Cactus-approved posts. Let’s get the ball rolling with a very special edition of Boozy Books Friday; in which we recommend skipping the reading altogether and going straight for the booze. This particular set of books is the shortlist of books we’d like to forget we ever read.
In no particular order… (because we hate them all):
1. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
2. Moby Dick; Or the Whale by Herman Melville
3. The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
4. As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner (Actually, anything by Faulkner… Just toss it in the garbage.)
5. Ulysses by James Joyce
6. The Dolphin People by Torsten Krol
7. The Faerie Queen by Edmund Spenser
8. 50 Shades of Grey by “that hack that turned Twilight fanfic into a lucrative series of housewife lit” AKA E L James
So there it is. A basic list of books which we despise. We won’t bother to list all the drinks we recommend in lieu of reading them, because every drink is one drink closer to forgetting we ever spent time within the pages of these… wasted trees. That’s right, I said it.
So if you’ve had the misfortune of reading any of these titles or if you’ve got one of two of your own “regret-reads” take a drink (or three, or four, or seven). Drink until you forget about the tortures of sniveling characters and lackluster writing! Drink until it’s all you can do not to start a bonfire of books you wish you’d never bought! Drink until you forget how to read!
And then – once you’ve recovered – come back next week for a brand new recommendation that will get you out of your reading funk.
No more bad books!